Pre birthday and dating during Covid musings!
Updated: Nov 30, 2020
It’s my birthday eve, I turn 47 tomorrow. I’m happy to say I have a smile on my face and and I’m feeling good. I woke up early this morning and finished the book I was reading by Marianne Power called Help Me.
I absolutely loved it. I identified with way too much and giggled the whole way through it. It is about her self-help book journey where she lives her life by sticking religiously to the principles of one self-help book per month. It’s a fun way to get the highlights even if you’re not into reading self-help.
I have taken on my own challenge in the last while and signed up to online dating! I hadn’t realised it but I feel like I have completely shut myself away for the last 5 years, yes five bloody years, I can’t believe it! I suppose the last few dates and relationships I had weren’t really great, not that I am blaming anybody I think it was a lot to do with my own confidence and lack of belief in myself. Thankfully, I’m learning to love myself more through lots of different avenues and support from friends, pushing my boundaries, reading more, learning more about myself and most importantly, counselling.
So back to the dating! Well, I decided if I was going to do it, I would do it properly and paid €160 for a very popular site for 6-months. I was feeling very motivated and nearly punching the air going yes, I’m going to do this!! lol. Once I uploaded my profile photo and handed over the money, I got access to the site and there was literally about 6 men, none of whom I found compatible. I couldn’t believe it! When I looked at the terms and conditions, I found you could cancel your subscription without any problem but couldn’t get your money back! I had to go through it forensically to find out that if I emailed them and wrote a letter which had to be in LA within 3 days…. I would get a refund. I got it! Delighted!
So after that underwhelming experience, I decided to go with the old reliable, Plenty of Fish. I paid to join for 6-months which is about €60. Instantly it was tight lines, I was having loads of fun. Some observations, why do people sign up and not put up a picture? Why do they send you monosyllabic messages having not even looked at your profile?
I have been in contact with some guys that I like and even had a socially distanced date which was a giggle. That guy has been in contact again to ask me out for another date. I’m not sure, I didn’t really feel chemistry but there’s only one way to find out!
Dating in the time of Covid 19 is definitely not easy though. I have swapped numbers with some guys and have been very brave and had a video chat for a first date. That was great fun and we spoke for 40 minutes! I had been in contact via WhatsApp with another guy who I fancied the pants off. It all got very hot and exciting, I had lots of fun! We had loads in common, I found him seriously attractive and he made me laugh my ass off. However, any time I suggested we meet for a walk or chat he said not yet, we can’t. I respected it but did not understand how a walk with two meters distancing wouldn’t work as that was allowed. Eventually, he said we will meet the following week, I was delighted! Cue that evening. He invited me out to his house, that night, and promised me a special wakeup call in very unfitting language…. I was raging! A bootie call! Dial a shag! I quickly let him know that yes I did like him, a lot, but I certainly wasn’t looking for a hook-up which I had already made clear. Well not straight away anyhow. Dirty laugh out of me now! He replied he was only joking, and I couldn’t come to his house anyway. Mike drop…. I have walked away, BUT, I feel great! I stood up for myself and didn’t go running to somebody who doesn’t respect me and is only looking for something I’m not. I value myself more than. The moral of the story is, I’ve had great fun so far this is by no means over. Every person I encounter is a learning experience and it is my choice to say yes or no. I don’t have to put up with bad manners, or ignore my gut feelings. I highly recommend if your single to get out there on the apps and have fun! You don’t have to take it too seriously, but you never know who you’ll meet. Wouldn’t it be a romantic love story if you met and dated during the time of Covid?
On that note I will sign off. I’m looking forward to my birthday tomorrow. I am going to take part in a coastal clean-up in the morning and then go home, shower and get dressed up. Pink prosecco may be popped! There isn’t a lot to do obviously at the moment but I am so happy and so lucky. Covid 19 and all the social isolation has taught me lessons and given me gifts. It’s terrible the effect on the world, people are losing loved ones, families are apart, jobs have been lost, financial security isn’t guaranteed. However, I believe we will come out of this stronger. I hope we respect the environment more. I hope we will continue to take time to spend with our friends and families. Let’s work to live, not live to work. It’s time to step out of the rat race. I have realised how lucky I am to have so many close friends who love me and who I love dearly in return.
If I can offer one little bit of advice in my 47 years of wisdom, lol. Live in the now! Look after your self, make your self feel good! Pop on your He-shi tan like I have done today so I will have a fab glow tomorrow, use nice perfumes, look after your skin, dress to make yourself feel good, get out in the fresh air, call your friends! Don’t be putting your happiness on hold. You are fabulous, funny, loved and are enough. If you think you’ll only be happy when you loose weight, get that car, buy the clothes etc you will only look back and realise you were already fabulous! I know from experience you will look back on photos and think wow! Why was I so self conscious, etc etc etc. You are still wow, tell your self that x